Saturday, October 30, 2010

"Aren't you glad you didn't turn on the light?"



In the spirit of Halloween, I thought I'd share one of the most frightening experiences I can remember. Now, I have a higher than healthy number of phobias- clowns, sharks, spiders, failure. And I may, or may not, have seen a swirling dark mass on a stair landing lean toward me while I waited for my study buddy at her creepy off-campus apartment. (I ran like hell and didn't feel bad about it.)

But I think the only time I have been literally paralyzed by fear was my freshman year at Western Kentucky University. The first Scream movie had just come out and for some reason, my friends and I thought it would be brilliant to go see the movie and then tell each other every ghost story we knew, including some that supposedly happened on our campus. Now, my poor friend, Scott, spent the first 15 minutes of Scream with my fingernails buried in his forearm. I saw him today at a WKU Homecoming event and I'm pretty sure those half-moon shaped scars are still on his arm.

By the time we walked out of the movie, I was terrified. I was completely convinced that the Ghostface Killer was hiding behind a tree by my dorm, waiting to eviscerate me. And, sensing my fear like killer bees, my friends started telling me all of the standard campus urban legends:

The girl who used a ouija board in her room and is pulled through her bed by the angry ghost she accidentally summons.

The boy who runs down the hallway after a shower and slips into a open elevator shaft, and now his ghostly wet footprints remain on the floor.

The girl who ignores scratching at her door all night, only to find her friend dead outside her door, having scratched all night, mutely begging for help.

But the one that really stuck with me, was this:

One night, a girl returned to her dorm to find that her roommate was already asleep with the lights off. Trying to be considerate, she undressed in the dark and climbed into bed. The next morning, she woke up to find her door open, her roommate brutally murdered and a message scrawled in her roommate's blood - "Nighty night. Aren't you glad you didn't turn on the light?"

That story freaked me the hell out. Probably because my roommate at the time was a very light sleeper who had difficulty getting into a REM state. She had to have a completely dark room, no TV, no music, no talking, in order to fall asleep. Otherwise, she was a very nice, reasonable girl.

So that night, I come home from the movie and the lights were out. The room was silent. And my roommate was asleep.

I stood at the lightswitch for five minutes, completely unable to move, debating whether it would be worth it to invoke the wrath of my sleeping roommat, turn the light on and make sure there wasn't a psycho-killer lurking in my room with her corpse. I decided to man up, get into my PJs in the dark and get in bed... and then I laid there in the dark, imagining the killer's hand hovering over my chest, waiting to plunge the knife.

I was awake until nearly 4 in the morning.

It took me a few weeks to get over that stupid story. And then, the next semester, I started working at the student newspaper, which meant working until 2 or 3 in the morning some nights. And coming home to a dark, quiet room.

It was a very long semester.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Audio version of AND ONE LAST THING

Audible.com released AND ONE LAST THING early on Audiobook. You can find it here

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

THE BIG NEWS: A FOURTH JANE BOOK

I can finally announce that there will be a fourth Jane Jameson book. The details, such as title and release date, are still being settled.

You may begin squealing.... now.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Audiobook News

My second announcement is that the Audiobook version of AND ONE LAST THING will be released by Audible.com on Nov. 4. The book will be read by Amanda Ronconi, the same voice actress who did the Jane books.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

ANNOUNCEMENT 1: Title Change

OK, I've teased you long enough. My first announcement of the week is that the title and cover for the werewolf romance being released in March has changed to HOW TO SEDUCE A NAKED WEREWOLF.

This is the new cover.




Isn't it cute?

To pre-order, click here

It will be a bit confusing as the old title is still listed on the Amazon page. Also, previous pre-orders still count.

There will be two more announcements this week, which will be increasing in "hugeness." Stay tuned!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

BIG NEWS COMING

I will have three major announcements this week. So keep sharp, follow the blog, and prepare for news.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Interview and Giveaway at Debutante Ball

Hey All,

I'm finally a debutante! Sort of...

Here's a super-fun interview and giveaway at The Debutante Ball

Thursday, October 7, 2010

What I've Learned Watching Bad Horror Movies

I've confessed here before about my hideous taste in movies. The weeks leading up to Halloween is a veritible buffet of awfulness for viewers like me, who can't seem to get enough schlocky scares. I've learned a lot from these movies about to keep your life interesting, and I thought I should share them here:

-If you are in a graveyard, by all means, go to the creepiest, worst lit and most decrepit part of it to get drunk and mock the dead.

-If you’re on vacation in a strange land and you see a creepy looking artifact, a book bound in human skin or a sacred object the locals fear/worship, be sure to stick it in your pocket and take it home. Oh, and give it to your kids, if you think they might like playing with it.

-Nothing bad ever happens to pretty girls.

-Assume that your loved one - who has been bitten by flesh-eating zombies - is going to be just fine and you should continue to spend time with them.

-If you inherit a mortuary, remote rural motel, or a farm with a questionable number of outbuildings from a distant relative you've never heard of, be sure to move right in.

-Uninhabited islands, defunct summer camps, and abandoned psychiatric facilities are great places to hang out with your friends!!

-And when you’re having a kegger in said islands/camps/nut wards, and your friend comes running out of the woods gibbering hysterically about a monster- ignore them. It's a party! You're there to have fun!

-Oh, and be sure to sneak off and behave in a giddy, sexually irresponsible manner. There’s no way the killer will use you to demonstrate a moral lesson.

-If you are a lovable sidekick to Casper Van Dien, Bill Paxton, Gabriel Byrne, Coren Nemec or Bruce Boxleitner, assume that you will be just fine. There’s no way you’ll be the first death that serves exposition purposes.

-Also if you see Lance Henriksen anywhere in the vicinity… see the above.

Please post your favorite terrible horror movies and the lessons you've learned from them here: