So, today was my first day as a full-time author. I had a schedule all worked out. I figured with all this free time, I would get twice as much accomplished as before. But it turned out, I was a little too ambitious. My day went a little something like this:
5:23 a.m. – I blearily glance up at the clock, despite the fact that the alarm is not going off. I have been waking up at 5:30 for the last six years. So, clearly, despite the fact that I overslept twice last week, my body clock has decided to be jerk about the whole “first day off” thing. I close my eyes again, determined to sleep until at least 6.
5:29 a.m. – … Still awake.
5:36 a.m. – Dang it. I can’t sleep, so I get up and go to the kitchen because I promised Darcy I’d make muffins for breakfast.
6:20 a.m. – Muffin FAIL. They wouldn’t peel off of the little paper cups. The kids had to eat them with a fork. Why is it that when I’m not trying to be Martha Stewart, my cooking turns out really well? But now, I’m trying to be all domestic, and I’ve made tiny blueberry bricks.
8:02 a.m. – Darcy is on the bus and I glance in the mirror before getting Carter out the door to preschool. I am officially one of those women wearing yoga pants and a hoodie, and huge oversized sunglasses. All I'm missing is a little dog in a designer handbag. I immediately change into an old college t-shirt.
9:06 a.m. – Oh, holy crap, I forgot how much I hated elliptical machines. And the people who use them enthusiastically.
10:00 a.m. – One of my many resolutions this year was to volunteer for the kids’ schools and activities more often. I will no longer guiltily ignore the fliers pleading for people to work on the book fair, the fall festival, etc. So today, I start working as a library volunteer at Darcy’s elementary school. (One resolution down- suck on that, laws of probability!)
Since my first act as a volunteer consisted of signing confidentiality agreements, that’s all I should probably say about it.
12:30 p.m. – OK, time to sit down and write before Darcy gets off the bus at 4.
1:09 p.m. – I forgot, the new dryer is being delivered today. The old shamed model was dubbed “The Slot Machine” because it left a trail of loose change from the laundry room to the Lowe’s truck.
1:30 p.m. – It’s 1:30 and I haven’t written a word today. OhmyGod OhmyGod OhmyGod OhmyGodOHMYGOD, what have I done?! What if I’ve left my job only to develop writer’s block? I’ve got a book due in two weeks. Is it too soon to call my boss back and ask for my job back? Acccck!
3:45 p.m. Ok, mini-panic attack averted. I am finishing a chapter and Darcy is now getting off the bus. All I have to do now, is fold a little laundry and fix Darcy an after-school snack.
4:02 I may have set off the smoke alarm while heating up Darcy’s after-school snack.
