So here's the hazard of being raised by an author, your mother has a platform upon which to broadcast the embarrassing stories of your childhood on a much wider scale.
The problem is, my daughter is occasionally funnier than me. And smarter. And she's 7. It's humiliating.
For instance, the other day we were folding laundry and she was fetching hangers from the closets.
Darcy: 'Mom, why is there a baby-sized hanger in your closet?'
Me: 'Maybe a mama hanger and a daddy hanger got together and had the baby hanger?'
Darcy: (giving me her patented "you do not amuse me" look) 'You know that's not how hangers are made, right?'
Or, last week, Darcy was reading an age-appropriate book on werewolf legends and found a factoid about how "in the old days," babies with a birthmark were considered potential werewolves.
Darcy: (eyeing the red "stork bite" mark on her arm) 'Should I be worried?'
Me: 'Nah, I had a birthmark and I'm not a werewolf.'
Darcy: (thinking long and hard): 'So, you've never woken up in the woods, not knowing how you got there?'
Me: 'It's nice to know you think so highly of your mother.'
Darcy: 'I was just asking!'
We were watching Once Upon a Time and Rumplestiltskin blew up a fairy godmother just before she was able to help Cinderella.
Me: 'Honey, should someone start your relationship by blowing up your fairy godmother, you probably shouldn't trust them.'
Darcy: 'I don't think that's a problem I'm going to have, Mom.'
But occasionally, I get the best of her.
A few weeks ago, Darcy learned about the importance of voting. She walked into the house, grumblng about her school reading team picking out a silly name for itself, "The XBoxes."
Me: 'So, what did you suggest for the name?'
Darcy: 'I said I didn't care and let the other kids pick.'
Darcy: 'Don't say, 'Let that be a lesson to you!'
Me: 'I'm just saying-'
My mom says that I was the same way when I was a kid, so I'm getting exactly what I deserve. One day, I will write a mother character who verbally gets the best of her precocious elementary schooler.
Until then, the battle of wits continues and I get the inspiration I need for my characters' dialogue.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
HOW TO FLIRT WITH A NAKED WEREWOLF has been selected to participate in the Audible.com Fifth Annual Tournament of Audiobooks!
Audible has held its Tournament of Audiobooks each spring since 2008. Celebrating outstanding performances in four categories (Best Sellers, Critically Acclaimed, Customer Favorites, and Editors’ Picks), the competition is designed as a bracket-style, single-elimination tournament where fans vote to decide which books advance from week to week. It all leads up to April 24, when the winning book will be crowned Audible’s Champion of Audiobooks.
HOW TO FLIRT WITH A NAKED WEREWOLF is up against some heavy competition, including A DISCOVERY OF WITCHES and THE NIGHT CIRCUS. Mo and Cooper could use all the help they can get!
Click here to vote!
Friday, March 16, 2012
Here's the cover for my next book, THE CARE AND FEEDING OF STRAY VAMPIRES, due out in August 2012. Here's the cover copy:
Iris Scanlon, Half-Moon Hollow’s only daytime vampire concierge, knows more about the undead than she’d like. Running all their daylight errands—from letting in the plumber to picking up some chilled O neg—gives her a look at the not-so-glamorous side of vampire life. Her rules are strict; relationships with vamps are strictly business, not friendship—and certainly not anything else. But then she finds her newest client, Cal, poisoned on his kitchen floor, and only Iris can help.
Cal - who would be devastatingly sexy, if Iris allowed herself to think that way - offers Iris a hefty fee for hiding him at her place until he figures out who wants him permanently dead. Even though he’s imperious, unfriendly and doesn't seem to understand the difference between "employee" and "servant," Iris agrees, and finds herself breaking more and more of her own rules to help him - particularly those concerning nudity.
Turns out what her quiet little life needed was some intrigue & romance—in the form of her very own stray vampire.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Glisson Vineyards & Winery will host a book signing for me on Saturday, March 10th from Noon until 3:00 pm, at its newly-opened Tasting Room. The Glisson Vineyards & Winery Tasting Room is located at 126 Market Square in downtown Paducah, Ky.